*men1*

today my sch gt council investiture.. hahhaa.. it feels rather weird.. cause this is the first time i sit down as audience and witness the whole investiture.. haha.. cause last time when i was in secondary school, two years as PA member and another two years as councillors.. so.. lol.. quite interesting.. hahhaa.. at last can feel what dose ppl feeling.. it gets boring when the speeches get too long. :p but its okk.. den der was dis part of the programme where they show the outgoing council activities photos.. quite sad ya.. though it has nth to do with me.. but it reminds me of my own council ppl.. the memories we created for the last two years of our secondary school.. :) it was all fate.. i nearly cried.. missing you all guys.. there are so many things happening.. and so many emotions evoke.. i hope i can just turn back time and back to the past where worries are much lesser.. where problems are not ours.. but too bad.. it is all just a wild dream. i don't know how to say.. but sometimes i really felt down.. i felt miserable.. and i mean miserable. like right now. okk.. i duno wads happening.. mayb i m self-pitying?? but of wad.. mayb i m just creating unneccesary problems.. i duno.. but it has been a long time since i dreaded gg sch.. okk.. i am not blaming the school.. i am not saying i dont like the school.. i think what i am not liking here is the fact that i need to study.. but whats wrong with studying? that is one question mark too.. i thought i dont mind studying.. so what's really the reason.. for the misery..
sometimes.. i really felt like stopping.. just stand there and stop.. stop walkin.. stop moving.. stop breathing.. mayb then i can find peace.. hai.. ok.. mayb nt stop breathing.. there are so many things happening.. some of my frens are having problems on their own.. and i dont know how to comfort cause i am not feeling too gd myself.. i am so sorry.. this entry is getting depressing..
there are so many things i want to let out.. i want to be frank to certain people.. but recently i found myself having much better control of myself.. i dont bother to explain.. knowing explanations can get things even more complicated.. i dont bother stating my own views.. knowing no one will bother anyway.. i dont bother telling anyone my worries.. since no one can do anything about it..
mayb some will say i am just creating trouble for my ownself.. by thinking too much.. how i wish i can stop.. dont bother me anyway.. this is all self-created.. i sound pretty self-pitying huh??
what i actually want.. to feel? to do? to happen? to bother about?
few daes ago my mom was sharing something with me.. she told me.. there is this newspaper writer wrote.. don't worry about the past.. just learn from it.. because no matter how much u worry about it u cant do anything.. cause its already happened! dont worry about the future.. cause wad for u worry for sth dat has not happened yet? dun worry about the present.. because u r living in it! okkk.. i actually cant rmb wad de writer wrote abt the present.. dat last line was added by me.. nvmm.. but theories are always easier than practical.. its not easy to just change like dat overnite.. mayb i am givin excuses to myself.. mayb i shall just stop complaining.. mayb i shall just go and sleep..

*men1*

today my sch gt council investiture.. hahhaa.. it feels rather weird.. cause this is the first time i sit down as audience and witness the whole investiture.. haha.. cause last time when i was in secondary school, two years as PA member and another two years as councillors.. so.. lol.. quite interesting.. hahhaa.. at last can feel what dose ppl feeling.. it gets boring when the speeches get too long. :p but its okk.. den der was dis part of the programme where they show the outgoing council activities photos.. quite sad ya.. though it has nth to do with me.. but it reminds me of my own council ppl.. the memories we created for the last two years of our secondary school.. :) it was all fate.. i nearly cried.. missing you all guys.. there are so many things happening.. and so many emotions evoke.. i hope i can just turn back time and back to the past where worries are much lesser.. where problems are not ours.. but too bad.. it is all just a wild dream. i don't know how to say.. but sometimes i really felt down.. i felt miserable.. and i mean miserable. like right now. okk.. i duno wads happening.. mayb i m self-pitying?? but of wad.. mayb i m just creating unneccesary problems.. i duno.. but it has been a long time since i dreaded gg sch.. okk.. i am not blaming the school.. i am not saying i dont like the school.. i think what i am not liking here is the fact that i need to study.. but whats wrong with studying? that is one question mark too.. i thought i dont mind studying.. so what's really the reason.. for the misery..
sometimes.. i really felt like stopping.. just stand there and stop.. stop walkin.. stop moving.. stop breathing.. mayb then i can find peace.. hai.. ok.. mayb nt stop breathing.. there are so many things happening.. some of my frens are having problems on their own.. and i dont know how to comfort cause i am not feeling too gd myself.. i am so sorry.. this entry is getting depressing..
there are so many things i want to let out.. i want to be frank to certain people.. but recently i found myself having much better control of myself.. i dont bother to explain.. knowing explanations can get things even more complicated.. i dont bother stating my own views.. knowing no one will bother anyway.. i dont bother telling anyone my worries.. since no one can do anything about it..
mayb some will say i am just creating trouble for my ownself.. by thinking too much.. how i wish i can stop.. dont bother me anyway.. this is all self-created.. i sound pretty self-pitying huh??
what i actually want.. to feel? to do? to happen? to bother about?
few daes ago my mom was sharing something with me.. she told me.. there is this newspaper writer wrote.. don't worry about the past.. just learn from it.. because no matter how much u worry about it u cant do anything.. cause its already happened! dont worry about the future.. cause wad for u worry for sth dat has not happened yet? dun worry about the present.. because u r living in it! okkk.. i actually cant rmb wad de writer wrote abt the present.. dat last line was added by me.. nvmm.. but theories are always easier than practical.. its not easy to just change like dat overnite.. mayb i am givin excuses to myself.. mayb i shall just stop complaining.. mayb i shall just go and sleep..