-Thursday, February 09, 2006-
*zonked*
somehow it seems all those laughters and smiles were just pretending. Pretending what? pretending to be happy? pretending to be njoying oneself? pretending to be cheerful?
somehow it has always been unfair. if it was all just some jokes, then its ok. but isnt it unfair if u take it out on me?
somehow we just cant click with each other. so y is the pretending about? i tried hard enuff. not too sure about u. unconsciously, i need to move arnd u cautiously. its tiring. really.
do wadeva u promise to do (nt too sure if i haf been able to do this.. bt trying hard..)
one lesson learnt : dont offer if nt out of sincerity
somehow it seems all those laughters and smiles were just pretending. Pretending what? pretending to be happy? pretending to be njoying oneself? pretending to be cheerful?
somehow it has always been unfair. if it was all just some jokes, then its ok. but isnt it unfair if u take it out on me?
somehow we just cant click with each other. so y is the pretending about? i tried hard enuff. not too sure about u. unconsciously, i need to move arnd u cautiously. its tiring. really.
do wadeva u promise to do (nt too sure if i haf been able to do this.. bt trying hard..)
one lesson learnt : dont offer if nt out of sincerity
# footprint is left @ 8:56 PM
*argh*
argh.
argh.argh.
argh.argh.argh.
argh.argh.
argh.
argh.
argh.argh.
argh.argh.argh.
argh.argh.
argh.
# footprint is left @ 8:49 PM
-Thursday, February 02, 2006-
*reflective*
:)
be satisfied of what u have.
nv ask for more.
'cause what u have is more than those who don't have.
(does nt apply in terms of knowledge :p)
depend on urself.
cause others ll disappoint u.
bt doesnt mean tt u dun trust.
happiness is seek from within.
then it ll last.
to my friend :)
the ans is within u.
the most one can do is guide u.
but the decision will still depend on urself.
depend on what u believe in.
be urself.
cause sincerity can be felt.
be sincere to urself.
my friend.
i choose to go back last year in the mission of rmbering myself. n finding out more abt myself. howeva it is done, mayb i have nt changed any bit to any of u. but i can feel the difference within me. i m much happier now.
they always say that look at things positively. it is never easy. unless u experience it urself. n u ll understand what the sentence means :)
i luv u all ppl.. u help me shape my life :)
No offense to those disagree with me.
just trying to xpress wad i believe in.
:)
:)
be satisfied of what u have.
nv ask for more.
'cause what u have is more than those who don't have.
(does nt apply in terms of knowledge :p)
depend on urself.
cause others ll disappoint u.
bt doesnt mean tt u dun trust.
happiness is seek from within.
then it ll last.
to my friend :)
the ans is within u.
the most one can do is guide u.
but the decision will still depend on urself.
depend on what u believe in.
be urself.
cause sincerity can be felt.
be sincere to urself.
my friend.
i choose to go back last year in the mission of rmbering myself. n finding out more abt myself. howeva it is done, mayb i have nt changed any bit to any of u. but i can feel the difference within me. i m much happier now.
they always say that look at things positively. it is never easy. unless u experience it urself. n u ll understand what the sentence means :)
i luv u all ppl.. u help me shape my life :)
No offense to those disagree with me.
just trying to xpress wad i believe in.
:)
# footprint is left @ 7:50 PM
3 Comments:
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oow... I shall juz comment on the first part, cuz it's realli so nicely written that I agree wif everything u wrote there. As for the 2nd part... duno wat's goin on lols...
anyway... I noe we as indiviuals shouldnt ask for more, as we're definite more fortunate and luckier than many others le. But, the thing is, humans will never be satisfied wif wat they have. Econs, unlimited wants-->never be fully satisfied de... wat one can realli do, is juz cherish watever u have rite in front of u...
I depend on myself... yet I depend on others too hahas... Ironical but tt's how the world goes... i depend on myself, reasons quite apparent, but i depend on others too, cuz they influence my dependence on myself too... Too much dependece on urself without depending on others will get u to become very anti-social... and i'm almost the result of tat already lols... on the other hand, too much dependence on others will make u a indecisive person... and ironically, I'm that kind of person... so wat am i? damn... i'm so confused...
sorry if i get u confused too, but i was juz writing how i feel and things juz go a bit crazy down here lols... contradicting myself's juz part of my life hahas... ironical? hahas... my life's nothin without it
By
OsirisZ, at
9:59 PM
anyway... I noe we as indiviuals shouldnt ask for more, as we're definite more fortunate and luckier than many others le. But, the thing is, humans will never be satisfied wif wat they have. Econs, unlimited wants-->never be fully satisfied de... wat one can realli do, is juz cherish watever u have rite in front of u...
I depend on myself... yet I depend on others too hahas... Ironical but tt's how the world goes... i depend on myself, reasons quite apparent, but i depend on others too, cuz they influence my dependence on myself too... Too much dependece on urself without depending on others will get u to become very anti-social... and i'm almost the result of tat already lols... on the other hand, too much dependence on others will make u a indecisive person... and ironically, I'm that kind of person... so wat am i? damn... i'm so confused...
sorry if i get u confused too, but i was juz writing how i feel and things juz go a bit crazy down here lols... contradicting myself's juz part of my life hahas... ironical? hahas... my life's nothin without it
By
OsirisZ, at
9:59 PM
ha.. hmm.. dun make urself confuse.. if u can be either side.. den make it ur advantage.. n improve on one another.. though its really much easier to be said than done.. but.. just try find a way out.. i duno.. mayb u wont get it directly.. u need time.. really.. i realli duno how to xpress myself well.. haha.. like for me.. i like companies.. bt yet i like to b alone.. isnt it v ironic too? for me "depend on myself" means that do the things u wan to do urself.. if u need others to help u.. ask for help.. bt dat doesnt really mean u r dependent on dem.. cause u know if dey cant help u, u still gt a way out.. just dat if others help, the thing ll be better. but if dey dun help, u still can solve.. u get wad i mean? i know a bit funny my xpression.. den de meaning mayb changed le.. bt dats wad i mean for depend on myself..
like for example.. i need cw to help me do with my comp.. den after dat nid to update stuff again.. bt he alwaes v lag a few daes den give me de.. den i v panicky kind.. den if i depend on him i ll b v miserable isnt it? (just like de case of project work.. i know i need to depend on him) den dis comp thing.. if he too busy with other stuff.. i know i can find the stuff myself.. yaa... i hope dis example gd enuff la.. lol..
den for the satisfaction dat wan.. heh.. its hard for majority to b satisfied of wad dey r having now.. bt for me to be satisfied means dat my life will b much happier.. so wad for i make my life miserable by wanting more.. of cos sometimes i want more.. bt nt having it its nt really a problem.. :) lol.. my words like contradict each other like dat.. ahh.. bt anw.. i really tink it does make life happier..
:) thnx for giving a comment :)
By neL, at
10:48 PM
like for example.. i need cw to help me do with my comp.. den after dat nid to update stuff again.. bt he alwaes v lag a few daes den give me de.. den i v panicky kind.. den if i depend on him i ll b v miserable isnt it? (just like de case of project work.. i know i need to depend on him) den dis comp thing.. if he too busy with other stuff.. i know i can find the stuff myself.. yaa... i hope dis example gd enuff la.. lol..
den for the satisfaction dat wan.. heh.. its hard for majority to b satisfied of wad dey r having now.. bt for me to be satisfied means dat my life will b much happier.. so wad for i make my life miserable by wanting more.. of cos sometimes i want more.. bt nt having it its nt really a problem.. :) lol.. my words like contradict each other like dat.. ahh.. bt anw.. i really tink it does make life happier..
:) thnx for giving a comment :)
By
neL, at
10:48 PM
hehe... I get wat ye mean, funny u may sound(u say de ah, not me lols), u're juz expressing the true self.
Wat u wrote in ur comments may contradict wat u wrote in ur blog, but i noe, the one u wrote in ur blog, it's meant for others to see, and it's ur thoughts, whereas wat u wrote here, is wat u expierenced. wat a person can experience can be totally diff from wat one wants in his/her life. SO it's not realli that much of a contradiction :D
hmm.. how should I say this...U have the same mentality as me... like to be wif frens but yet love to be alone hahas... we're living in ironys lols... I duno whether I should be happy to find someone who behaves the same way as me lols... but it's great to noe i', not alone afterall :) or I'll realli think I'm an eccentric person lols...
oh.. and bout this "dependence" thing, i relate this word to "decision making", so maybe it's a bit diff to ur meaning of "dependence" hehe.
lastly, i'm a very contradicting person oso. As a Gemini, it's juz so difficult not to have split personalities sia... wah.. I have sooooooo many things to say~ but lazy to write in this comment. Chat wif ye next time when we free la hahas
By OsirisZ, at
12:44 PM
Wat u wrote in ur comments may contradict wat u wrote in ur blog, but i noe, the one u wrote in ur blog, it's meant for others to see, and it's ur thoughts, whereas wat u wrote here, is wat u expierenced. wat a person can experience can be totally diff from wat one wants in his/her life. SO it's not realli that much of a contradiction :D
hmm.. how should I say this...U have the same mentality as me... like to be wif frens but yet love to be alone hahas... we're living in ironys lols... I duno whether I should be happy to find someone who behaves the same way as me lols... but it's great to noe i', not alone afterall :) or I'll realli think I'm an eccentric person lols...
oh.. and bout this "dependence" thing, i relate this word to "decision making", so maybe it's a bit diff to ur meaning of "dependence" hehe.
lastly, i'm a very contradicting person oso. As a Gemini, it's juz so difficult not to have split personalities sia... wah.. I have sooooooo many things to say~ but lazy to write in this comment. Chat wif ye next time when we free la hahas
By
OsirisZ, at
12:44 PM
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but be urself nel... dun like it, leave it... if accomodating and tolerance's too much for u, be urself...
I tried to join in... tried to associate, but it's more difficult than living alone sometimes... when u noe it's hard to mix, choose urself over others and be urself. u noe the chinese proverb 勉强是没有幸福的 hahas... u understand dun u..
hope u noe wat i'm trying to say
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