zonked
wow! another week has gone=first week of the J1 term2 no longer exist. do u realise that as u get older, time seems to b passing by u in an ever increasing speed? do u realise that if u r nt running with the time, u will be losing out at the end? but if thats the way, wont we become the slave of time? so what must we do? i come to a conclusion that we must haf a damn good time management. anyone agree with me thumbs up please..
got posted to NYJ. hah. was like kinda of shock.. cause least expect it? but at least wad i told eve abt 'if miracle happens den i will b back at MJ' lol.. actualli when i saw my postin results i got de eerie feeling of how close i will get back to MJ.. (btw nt dat i m against MJ or wad.. MJ is gd btw. realli. i mean it cant get dat bad rite. education is gd for everyone u c. n it all depends on urself whether u wan to do well) haha. but back again to miracle. dis makes me realise dat de more u believe on miracle, de higher de possibilty of it to come true. realli. i actualli kinda serious when i sae dat it is possible to b posted back to MJ even though i put MJ quite far below of the choices. i mean i gt posted to the JC which is de choice just before MJ. isnt it close?
haha. btw NYJ orientation is 2 daes onli. actualli i tink its kinda nt enuff. haha.. but ya.. at least its nt bad that for de second dae i manage to get high? haha. (for mj ppl.. de cheering is definitely de best! haha.. but no offence to nyj ogls kz.. mayb cause we onli haf two daes.. datz y.. its hard to get ppl to b enthu n being cheery.. mayb?)btw brown uniforms for me!! haha. btw our orientation end wif PIZZA dinner! n disco night!
so J1s.. our JC study time will start next week! (for most JCs) all the best people! n i believe u can do it! we will go through this together okay? n believe me! in no time we will be once again waiting for our results.. this time is 'A's. haha. n definitely with much more anticipations n tensions. ya.. for dose hu r lookin for a motivator. u may wan to try to imagine de scene den. n try to imagine wad kind of feeling u would like to haf after receivin de results :) ur goal is? ur most wanted feelin for de comin n unavoidable scene! for my frens who decide to go Poly. Good Luck! u can do it too! :D
thank you everyone for everything. for a reminder. just wanna tell you all that you are really great friends who have make AT LEAST a difference in my life. really.
now come the headache. wad combi shud i take?

i really believe that it will subdue after a while. but no! u r still haunting me. ur shadows. ur actions. ur every move. i am reminded even by a slightest similar gesture done by a stranger..

deep in thought
today=last day in MJC for those who are not staying. tmr posting results are out. for those who are not staying, wanna wish you all the best and hope that you all will like your new environment (including myself :D).
wanna thank my cls.. 05S322.. for all the fun times in n out of the clsrms.. if nt for u all.. i dont tink that the first three mths will pass by so fast.. haha.. nt dat i wish for it to pass by fast.. n oso all the teachers.. for coming into my life.. thanks mr ling.. haha.. for everything n for the two kitkats.. though i wasnt der to take it frm u personally. thanks to the AHS ppl in MJC.. with you all around.. de new environment didnt seem as daunting anymore :) special thanks to siyan.. for coming to sch wif me in de earli morning.. n together wif van.. help me get out of de first few wks depression due to missing sec sch time by crapping n cheerin each other up. thnx for silas n soo yee.. for the remaining few daes of the first three mths.. wif ur crappiness which lightened up my mood n de silent or nt-so-silent companies u all haf offered. thnx for ur help wif my comp.. though its still nt ok.. hah.. i wanna thanks de MJC AVA members too.. u all guys are great to hang out wif.. haha.. fun n lame n crappy seniors i haf too.. stay that way! not forgetting my ogls n my reg2 frens.. though we r not close at all.. but wifout u all the first 3 mths will b totally different. all the best for ur futures.. n for the J2s.. jia you!
ops.. i forgot to mention evelyn.. haha.. hi eve. thnx. i mean awd else can i sae besides thnx. dun worry. u still haf me!! haha. when u wan to look for ppl to watch movies wif ya.. dun forget to ask me k? u r definitely a fun movie partner! =) soo yee n many others will b der to accompany u for the rest of the 1 year n 9 mths.. :D
for Qian Wen.. haha.. stay cute n funny. our swimming date.. when will it be??
for Milo.. glad to haf known u n loreng n darwis.. keep in touch ya.. :)
for those that are not in MJC but haf supported me in one way or another.. i appreciate it very much.. thnx MQ for the listening ears.. n ur laughters for nth in particular -_-""
thanx to june n kristin :) brynner n alex :)
thanx tho.. for the guitar practice!
thanx to my da jiu.. for showing concerns.. n care abt me.. by callin me up to find out abt my results.. n congratulating me.. u really touched me.
thanx to my dad n mom.. for loving me.. n for my mama.. do recover asap! i know u r a strong woman! n for my papa.. u r a great papa.. funny too..
thanx my bro for the guidance he has gladly given me when i m confused..
for the rest that i have not mentioned or forget to mention.. u are just as important to me. thanks to all that have come into my life since 7 years ago.. u haf made my last seven years of living a memorable one ;)

have faith in faith

your greeting lightens up my day.
just thinking of you makes me smile again.
how i wish i can turn back the time.
back to the time when i just got to know you.
we can start all over again.
and this time, the ending may be just different.

it isnt really like at first sight.
you are just an ordinary guy.
nothing special about you, i thought.
perhaps,
perhaps it is your dedication that attracts me.
the way you remember my name.
though to you its just an ordinary stuff,
it means a lot to me.

unknowingly,
i have fallen for you,
the first time you called out my name.

thinking of you is enough to make me smile again :)

zZZzz
hmmm.. has been a long time since i blog sth.. lol.. if dis cont.. i believe dat i ll definitely stop bloggin.. kzz.. so better start bloggin sth.. nth much happen durin dis hol.. cause no cash.. den stay at hm most of the time..
anw.. on mon went back to ahs for edc camp.. haha.. fun sia.. help out for the nite game.. so many non edc members.. alex.. sheena.. rayner.. me.. tink four of us ah.. cant realli rmb.. lol.. anw after de nite game we went down to eat prata.... prata is nice.. n drink milo!! haha.. den went back to bathe.. ahhh.. so long nv camp le.. den cant realli slp well.. sian.. basically neck n back pain de next dae i woke up.. but nvm.. lol.. miss camp too much to tink dat its nt worth it.. haha.. (btw so glad da van find her camp fun!! cause camps are fun!!)ok.. lame.. -_-"" nvm..
todae.. went to jurong to swim.. actualli nt wanna go wan.. den read eve blog.. she went yest.. n den.. i tink dat i ll nt b able to take it if i miss all de fun of gg to jurong swim.. i decided to go! yay! haha.. ya.. den like wad her blog has said.. got waves.. got slides.. got slow river.. hahhaa.. actualli wad makes it so fun is we all la.. imagine u go der alone.. will it b fun? no rite? ya.. but i luv water too.. so .. it is fun just to b in de water :p who went? brynner zuhao alex yinghuan meihui n me.. n btw jurong is cheap! haha.. much cheaper dan wild wild wet.. n guess u ll b able to enjoy urself der.. since its so much cheaper.. =x
hai.. haf been tryin to get rid of him frm my brain.. but abit hard ah.. almost everytime went out.. he surely will haunt me wan.. just like todae.. i was in de mrt.. den i tot i saw him! but of coz its nt him la.. hai.. totally SIANded (esp to van.. :p)
haf been realli slackin for the whole wk.. stay at hm n play freecell.. till #125.. stuck at #126.. sumwan hu manage to solve.. tell me pls.. n den decided to write down ppl's bdae n fone numbers.. but nv gt to finish it.. havent touch ani hw.. gonna b dead.. hai..
time is 1203am now.. gg to slp le.. gd nite!

was hopin for it to fade away..

no mood

the week is coming to the end.

mood :shocked
woahhh! wad a night! powerful. real pwerful. nv see such a scene.. nv felt such atmosphere.. n dis is de first time i witness healing.. simply powerful.
twice.. i tot i felt sth.. nt too sure..
anw haf gone to sch in de morning wif mq. ask for testi. sumwan's new car. haha.
gg off to bed le.. tired.. havin slight dizziness..
thank You, God. to make me feel wad i feel todae. n for all those healings.. U r simply the best

mood :...

cant get u out of my mind
tinkin dat ur path n my path will cross once again
but dey nv
will it end just like dis?
i hope nt
but its not a choice i can haf

mood :sweetened
yay! its finally over!haha. finally over.. after two daes full of worries. finally. hmm.. no matter wads de outcome. its ok man. i know i dint back out. =p lol.. at least i went through all dat. though der were some incident happened la.. lol.. tell me how it feels.. when sumwan is talkin bad abt u? tinkin dat u dun understand deir language? (dey sincerely tink dat u dun understand dem) but de prob is i understand. haha.. though nt too sure whether it was talkin bad abt me or the other stuff.. but i know.. n quite confirm dat i m included in de conversation. hmm.. ya. i stared. n stared. but den. nth happen.. feel like replyin in deir language. but ya.. i nv did dat. let it be ba. i tink is just another lesson for me to b learnt. next time. dun ever tok bad abt ppl in frnt of de ppl. even though u r sure dat de person wont understand. realli. besides ppl can read ur bodi language. true? =D
nt bad a dae in sch todae. haha. cause short dae. nth realli happen in cls todae. besides mr ling showing us his weddin video. haha.. dat cameraman nid more training man! n during econs..haha.. it was like.. so tense la.. but xcitin ya?? eve.. haha.. next time dun forget to do plssssss..
hmmm.. tmr gonna haf PE.. dno wad r we gg to do. rawks! ok.. wadeva it is. i hope it rox! ok. crap man. =P
haha. so wad make me feel so sweetened todae? lol.. my second bro! haha. after tokin to my first bro for so long.(through msn) todae is de first time tokin to my second bro sia. n he cant stop calling me 'dd'. oh my.. dun noe whether he was just being cheeky.. as usual.. or wad.. ya.. but he bought the chocolate to give to my mom..yest was her bdae. guess she likes it alot.. haha.. whoever money he used to buy.. dun wish to know =p
I MISS U VAN! haha.. oh my.. dun b sad n unhappy le.. join my cls now! =D

that moment is still flashing in my mind.. times n times again..

mood :panicky
tell u wad! haha.. i woke up late again dis morning! by silas' fone call. yup.. it was 630 when he called. haha! luckily i asked him to wait for me.. if nt.. gonna pon another sch dae le.. lol.. n wad luck we got? haha.. soo yee was der too! when i reached to the mrt station.. thnx silas! for waitin.. n siyan! i m waiting to go sch together wif ya!! ya.. a few more daes.. hmm.. to the march hol!! haha..
so.. in sch.. we haf lessons as usual.. nth much.. gp watch pay it forward.. is a nice show.. alwaes tot dat is a nice n meaningful show.. until yuhan popped dat question. "wads de moral of de movie?" gd wan. cause at the end dat boy hu started de pay it forward, died. so it sets me tinkin.. y.. havent got the ans yet.. so for anione hu noes.. tell me pls..
we had PE todae.. haha.. n its a real work out man! but i tink last wk wan worse.. we were made to carry a 2kg ball.. n run 4 rounds.. since i partner wif eve. so 2 rounds wif de ball n another 2 rounds wo de ball.. den we do sit up.. push up.. squats.. n one more dunno-call-wad exercise.. wan dat will make u haf back pain de next dae.. =x ya.. but i haf alwaes like pe.. cause make me feel v healthy.. lol.. i m nt cheatin myself.. cause its true!
todae.. i start to feel dat i ll miss MJ.. is ironic rite!! but.. ya.. i realli do feel so.. especially my cls.. haha.. even my pe time.. my teachers.. all are nice ppl.. is funny to tink dat i started to get used to all the ppl arnd me.. but after all is alr 2mths.. ya.. gonna miss u all ppl!! haha.. cant change my JAE le.. ya.. so no pt regrettin rite.. i oso nv regret la. i believe dat it is planned dis wae.. so.. we just gonna haf fun for the rest of de remainin daes! yea?
i haf been worryin for the whole dae.. shud i back out or shudnt i? realli.. i m nt jk.. u all can easily tell me dat 'no harm tryin' but.. i realli must ask myself whether i m worthy enuff u c.. hai. i must haf more confidence! dats wad my frens told me.. so i guess i m gonna haf dat.. actualli i was still tinkin whether to back out.. den just now sth happened u c.. hmm.. btw.. thnx tho! for comin n teachin me.. n tellin me!! u c.. tho lost his ring.. den i went back to find.. haha.. so i waited der to wait for de person hu is sittin at our place just now to get awae so dat i can find de ring.. i waited n waited n waited.. i nearli walk awae le.. but den.. haha.. i set my mind to walk over n check dat place.. n i found de ring! i duno y oso i m so afraid of dat person. but ya.. i m afraid.. tink i just gt nt enuff confidence.. but.. it set me tinkin of whether to back out or nt.. =) gd wae of showing it to me, God!
i m gettin panic attacks more than usual.. give me confidence pls..

fear is having faith in the wrong thing.. (frm zl)

mood :emotionless
lol.. i m feelin guilty.. y? cause i pon sch again todae.. actualli not on purpose wan.. suppose to meet silas in de morning.. but den i woke up late.. so decided to ask him go sch first.. den nt long after i msg.. i received eve's msg tellin me dat she is nt gg sch.. sick.. so.. at dat exact same time.. half of mind alr determined of nt gg sch.. i went back to slp.. n de next time i woke up.. it was 8+.. lol.. i succeed in persuading myself dat i ll be late.. n after all i feel abit giddy n body is aching all over.. n again i told myself.. is no wonder for me to fall sick.. after all two of my housemates haf fallen sick.. haha.. wad a great excuse! so.. i went back to slp again..
i gradually woke up at 11+.. haha.. wanting to cont slpin wan.. but guilt overwhelm me.. so i decided to wash up n did my econs essay.. and oso read my storybks.. yup.. so by evening 630.. i finish two bks and an econ essay.. called qw to find out wd happened todae.. der is half dae for fri.. great! last dae of dis term!
rite now haf just finish my dinner.. n some of chem questions.. hai.. dere is still some guilt in me.. tink i ll just slp earli tonite.. ensure dat tmr i ll wake up earli.. i shall do so..

that moment is haunting me day and night..

mood :dead
dis morning mom called. found out dat 13 is nt enuff for her.
have asked for a laptop or at least a hp. haha. dunnoe whether dey will end up psychoing me dat i dun nid dose stuff.
dey r comin on de 25th. both mom n dad.. kinda miss dem.. havent seen dem for like.. more than one year? lol.. hmm.. actualli besides dem alot of my relatives from mom's side are coming over here too.. i guess is some sort of gathering for dem.. haha..
heard dat my aunt's granddaughter is comin frm germany.. she is nt even one yr's old!
lol.. gonna b happy occasion..
just saw my mom msg. my cousin gt 23. n his older bro got second for de A lvl. dats like wow.. so li hai.. i m dead. der will be just another expectation frm my mom for the coming 2 years..

i will nv forget the moment when i turn arnd n see u standin der lookin back. it seems so unreal. n i tot dat it is just a dream. let it be just a dream.

mood :...
i tot dat it ll be better after today.
but how come der's no magic workin like wad i m hopin for.
it is just as cold as last time.
it creates de longing in my heart.
longing for it to b better?
klo emank ini uda fated, g jg ngak bisa apa2.
tapi setidaknya show me my way.
so dat i wont be lost.
knp g mesti jatuh ke dalem trap ini.
n get trapped.
save me?
u ask me. whether i wan to b saved.
jawaban g. i tink so.
i still rmbed.
de first time i heard u askin wher am i, i was surprised.
nv know dat u know my name.
but datz ok. it dint bother me.
i tot so. i tink dis is de reason.
de reason for wads happening rite now.
its hard to get into ur world.
onli wif ur help den it will happen.
help me please.
two doors for me to choose.
i tot i haf chosen but i m hesitating now.
i tried one of de doors.
it wont budge.
dun dare to try another wan.
fearin dat it wont budge too.
save me?

mood :haPpi! :)
yay! haha.. another dae is over.. lol..
todae went out to celebrate zy n alex bdae..
haha.. in de morning..suppose to go n jog wif brynner.. but den.. slept u see.. n its overslept.. haha.. n forgot all abt the msg brynner sent remindin me abt the jog.. so at the end nv go la of coz.. haha.. but den met up wif him n zuhao at parkwae at 12.30.. see them eat lunch.. den went to buy rotiboy for my lunch.. nt bad la. but abit too sweet la. haha.. n dem tellin me dat if actualli we go n squeeze de bread der ll b oil.. so.. ya.. at the end nt realli gt appetite ah.. so at parkwae.. we went to shop for zy n alex pressie.. haha.. for zy we gt him two shirts! hah.. n alex we gt him shoebag n waterbottle.. (matchin color)! red! red rox!
ok.. lol.. anw.. den cause alot of time left.. so we went to de arcade.. last time dat place used to b my tuition centre.. hai.. goin der remind me of 6 yrs ago.. huai nian huai nian.. still rmb.. last time we went to de 'playgrnd' der n practise for our farewell perfomance.. n we won! second i tink.. but nt for dat item la.. but we had fun den! hai.. wondering how are dose of my clsmates doin now..
den we took 196 went to suntec.. den gt danceworks.. haha. once again make me recall of the past.. ya.. miss the time.. n de time.. lol.. anw.. den we took mrt to somerset.. our meetin place.. haha.. we r late.. but yet we r earli..
after everyone met le.. we went to eat marche.. $12 for me june n kristin.. nt bad huh? haha.. ya.. den we leavin dat time we saw our mount K guide! haha.. nt bad sia.. at dis kinda place saw him.. n he is buyin vegetable -_-'" haha.. n before dat we were sayin dat come marche dun eat veg.. cause de veg ex.. =p
so after dat we went to cineleisure.. planning to watch movie la.. end up no show.. all late shows.. nobodi can make it.. haha.. den zuhao n brynner were playin dis arcade dancin game.. suddenly cant rmb.. lol.. n zuhao is as lousy as wd he saes =x haha.. but nt bad la.. zy n krist help him.. so he didnt lose so badly la.
lol. den cause no show wanted to play bowling.. which is located at 9th floor..
haha.. den cause de lift keep on got ppl. den we take de emergency stairs.. haha. den trapped inside leh! walahhhh.. nth to sae le.. but luckily at the fifth floor de emergency door is open la. den we take de lift at the end.. wanted to go up to 9th floor.. but cant oso! haha.. end up found out dat de bowlin place has closed down! totally lame lehz.. pengz..
haha.. den we went to starbucks.. n sit down der n crap.. n drink coffee.. n joke arnd.. n tok n tok.. wif aj.. haha.. n den.. sit until 10+.. decided to go hm.. n.. once again being a nice guy.. sumwan drove me hm again.. thnx man! lol.. datz it..
ya.. a hapi dae.. cause of 2 reasons.. but datz for me to know n for u to find out =) if u r curious. datz it. ;)

mood :irritated.
"Strike while the iron is hot because there will be an opportunity today, to fulfil a longstanding dream or ambition. Embrace the changes that are happening now and accept the fact there's no fulfilment in standing still. You're being given the chance to strike out in new directions and to widen your horizons. Choices made today will shape your destiny, be sure to make the right ones. Think positively; expect changes for the better and they will come into your life."
the above paragraph is my horoscope readin for todae. hai.
i tink i know wad opportunity it is talkin abt. but i tink i m ruining it. i m nt wantin it. wad it means by embracing de changes? wad changes? isit 'new environment' it is referring to? hah. i am hoping so.. ya.. for those out der.. u nid to move to fulfill sth. ya. so lets move. wad does it tryin to sae abt the new directions and widen my horizons? isit wad it is referring to? is it? i have been tinkin positively.. besides dat whether i will start regrettin once i make de choice. so i dun believe in regretting.. but must as well i tink wadz best for me now. rite? dis sux.. totally.. i dun even noe wad i m being indecisive abt. arghhh..
i m worried over nth!
nth! totally nth!
hai.

mood :zonked
yay.. haha.. i m tired.. but ya.. come to blog before go to bed.
today is a v long dae.. n a dae where i haf been made to wait n wait.
i went to mj as usual.. out of 25 9 nv come sch.. pro hor.. datz for my cls. haha.. but after dat yinghui come la.. which is weird.. havent got to ask her yet.
however.. lol.. durin lunch.. 9 of us left.. leavin de rest behind for the rest of de 2 lectures n tutorials.. i was kinda guilty when i walked out of the sch.. but ya.. wad is done cant b undone.. =p
aniwae.. i went to meet mq.. she is supposed to pon sch in de morning.. but lame ger she is.. went back to vj to haf lunch n attend de chem lecture.. haha.. den sae wanna meet after her lecture.. at the end she made me wait for like.. 2 hours??!! cause she was hold up by sumwan else.. mq.. u gd la.. make me wait der.. n stone.. n look at the rain.. from big bcome small.. den bcome big again.. hai..
funnily. durin de waiting. haha.. i felt as if i haf gone back to the past den come back to the present again.. cause i saw my teacher!! my chinese teacher when i was still in the tuition centre.. i am so happy that she is still gd!! haha.. but too bad she cant recognise me.. n i cant rmb her name.. so at the end nv call out lor.. den after dat i saw my pri sch fren sis.. which is also my fren la.. haha.. cause i too stoned le.. so when see her oso nt much reaction.. feel bad now.. but i happi to see u la Hsiang Yin.. ya.. (i tink i dint spell wrongly ur name rite?)
so after dat me n mq went to macd. n tok n tok abt jae.. anw.. she got bluffed.. as in her money got bluffed.. haha.. where gt ice cream so ex wan lor..
so.. i came home at abt 730.. after bathin n dinner.. i decided to register my jae.. hai.. thats another thing todae dat make me wait.. i wait n wait n wait. for the server to b available.. so at arnd 10 it was.. but when i was reachin de last page.. it says invalid logon!! wah! i nearly pengz!
haha.. ya.. anw. tmr most prob gg to tj.. haha.. so tj ppl.. welc me! =)
ya.. now i wan to go slp le.. tiring dae.. gd nite everyone..

mood :silent
i m confused.
confused.
confused.
confused.
confused.
i m supposed to be silent.
n i m silent.
i have to sort out myself.
rite now i m all tangled up.
datz y i m confused.

its supposed to b easy.
lets hope it is easy.
run? or still?
hide? or seek?
ya?
i m not too sure anymore.
tangled.

mood :stoned
so.. dis is gonna be my second entry..
i woke up dis morning.. realising dat it was raining.. datz gd.. because it makes me go back to slp.. haha.. it was 9.30 aniwae.. still earli..
after a few more minutes of slackin i decided to come online.. since i had been angry wif somewan yest nite.. but at the end i was guilty cause dat sumwan seems to b angry too.. i decided to see whether dat sumwan still angry anot.. ya.. lame.. but luckily dat sumwan wasnt la.. which is gd.. aniwae.. haha.. for dat sumwan if u know who u are.. thnx for the help la.. not dat i dun appreciate.. but ya.. thanx aniwae.. =)
haiii.. tmr must go back to mj le.. n i still left with two econs essays and one chns compo.. sian.. just dun haf de motivation to do la..i just finish readin de first bk of de St Claire's by Enid Blyton.. dun luff at me kz.. haha. my fav bks when i was younger.. still is now.. :p
wanted to go east coast park to cui cui feng.. but ya.. lazy ah.. raining somemore.. lol.. den when i decided to go.. mq decided to go tp.. haiii.. but its ok =) haha.. fated..
mayb when i feel happy i will blog again tonite.. c u.

yaay! haha.. at last i m startin a blog.. firstly.. wanna give de credit to CheNg Pei!! haha.. she is the one hu help me wif the template.. haha.. so gt ani comment give to her ya.. (cp dun forget to visit my blog to look at the comment =p) secondly.. ahha.. de credit go to Tho..for the spider web.. though me n cp think dat its nt relevant -_-"" . ya..
soo.. haha.. i come out wif de word 'zonked' coz it sounds nice.. dont u tink so too?? =)
ok.. anyway.. ya. yest we just got back our 'o' lvl results.. de long anticipated results.. i got 13.. hmm.. honestly nt v happy wif it.. but at least its an improvement frm my prelim,17. ya.. so after de results.. wads next? haha.. now headache.. duno which path to choose.. anibodi.. wanna give suggestion?
tts all for now.. time to go.. <--- by loo!! :x

-neL-

zonked
wow! another week has gone=first week of the J1 term2 no longer exist. do u realise that as u get older, time seems to b passing by u in an ever increasing speed? do u realise that if u r nt running with the time, u will be losing out at the end? but if thats the way, wont we become the slave of time? so what must we do? i come to a conclusion that we must haf a damn good time management. anyone agree with me thumbs up please..
got posted to NYJ. hah. was like kinda of shock.. cause least expect it? but at least wad i told eve abt 'if miracle happens den i will b back at MJ' lol.. actualli when i saw my postin results i got de eerie feeling of how close i will get back to MJ.. (btw nt dat i m against MJ or wad.. MJ is gd btw. realli. i mean it cant get dat bad rite. education is gd for everyone u c. n it all depends on urself whether u wan to do well) haha. but back again to miracle. dis makes me realise dat de more u believe on miracle, de higher de possibilty of it to come true. realli. i actualli kinda serious when i sae dat it is possible to b posted back to MJ even though i put MJ quite far below of the choices. i mean i gt posted to the JC which is de choice just before MJ. isnt it close?
haha. btw NYJ orientation is 2 daes onli. actualli i tink its kinda nt enuff. haha.. but ya.. at least its nt bad that for de second dae i manage to get high? haha. (for mj ppl.. de cheering is definitely de best! haha.. but no offence to nyj ogls kz.. mayb cause we onli haf two daes.. datz y.. its hard to get ppl to b enthu n being cheery.. mayb?)btw brown uniforms for me!! haha. btw our orientation end wif PIZZA dinner! n disco night!
so J1s.. our JC study time will start next week! (for most JCs) all the best people! n i believe u can do it! we will go through this together okay? n believe me! in no time we will be once again waiting for our results.. this time is 'A's. haha. n definitely with much more anticipations n tensions. ya.. for dose hu r lookin for a motivator. u may wan to try to imagine de scene den. n try to imagine wad kind of feeling u would like to haf after receivin de results :) ur goal is? ur most wanted feelin for de comin n unavoidable scene! for my frens who decide to go Poly. Good Luck! u can do it too! :D
thank you everyone for everything. for a reminder. just wanna tell you all that you are really great friends who have make AT LEAST a difference in my life. really.
now come the headache. wad combi shud i take?

i really believe that it will subdue after a while. but no! u r still haunting me. ur shadows. ur actions. ur every move. i am reminded even by a slightest similar gesture done by a stranger..

deep in thought
today=last day in MJC for those who are not staying. tmr posting results are out. for those who are not staying, wanna wish you all the best and hope that you all will like your new environment (including myself :D).
wanna thank my cls.. 05S322.. for all the fun times in n out of the clsrms.. if nt for u all.. i dont tink that the first three mths will pass by so fast.. haha.. nt dat i wish for it to pass by fast.. n oso all the teachers.. for coming into my life.. thanks mr ling.. haha.. for everything n for the two kitkats.. though i wasnt der to take it frm u personally. thanks to the AHS ppl in MJC.. with you all around.. de new environment didnt seem as daunting anymore :) special thanks to siyan.. for coming to sch wif me in de earli morning.. n together wif van.. help me get out of de first few wks depression due to missing sec sch time by crapping n cheerin each other up. thnx for silas n soo yee.. for the remaining few daes of the first three mths.. wif ur crappiness which lightened up my mood n de silent or nt-so-silent companies u all haf offered. thnx for ur help wif my comp.. though its still nt ok.. hah.. i wanna thanks de MJC AVA members too.. u all guys are great to hang out wif.. haha.. fun n lame n crappy seniors i haf too.. stay that way! not forgetting my ogls n my reg2 frens.. though we r not close at all.. but wifout u all the first 3 mths will b totally different. all the best for ur futures.. n for the J2s.. jia you!
ops.. i forgot to mention evelyn.. haha.. hi eve. thnx. i mean awd else can i sae besides thnx. dun worry. u still haf me!! haha. when u wan to look for ppl to watch movies wif ya.. dun forget to ask me k? u r definitely a fun movie partner! =) soo yee n many others will b der to accompany u for the rest of the 1 year n 9 mths.. :D
for Qian Wen.. haha.. stay cute n funny. our swimming date.. when will it be??
for Milo.. glad to haf known u n loreng n darwis.. keep in touch ya.. :)
for those that are not in MJC but haf supported me in one way or another.. i appreciate it very much.. thnx MQ for the listening ears.. n ur laughters for nth in particular -_-""
thanx to june n kristin :) brynner n alex :)
thanx tho.. for the guitar practice!
thanx to my da jiu.. for showing concerns.. n care abt me.. by callin me up to find out abt my results.. n congratulating me.. u really touched me.
thanx to my dad n mom.. for loving me.. n for my mama.. do recover asap! i know u r a strong woman! n for my papa.. u r a great papa.. funny too..
thanx my bro for the guidance he has gladly given me when i m confused..
for the rest that i have not mentioned or forget to mention.. u are just as important to me. thanks to all that have come into my life since 7 years ago.. u haf made my last seven years of living a memorable one ;)

have faith in faith

your greeting lightens up my day.
just thinking of you makes me smile again.
how i wish i can turn back the time.
back to the time when i just got to know you.
we can start all over again.
and this time, the ending may be just different.

it isnt really like at first sight.
you are just an ordinary guy.
nothing special about you, i thought.
perhaps,
perhaps it is your dedication that attracts me.
the way you remember my name.
though to you its just an ordinary stuff,
it means a lot to me.

unknowingly,
i have fallen for you,
the first time you called out my name.

thinking of you is enough to make me smile again :)

zZZzz
hmmm.. has been a long time since i blog sth.. lol.. if dis cont.. i believe dat i ll definitely stop bloggin.. kzz.. so better start bloggin sth.. nth much happen durin dis hol.. cause no cash.. den stay at hm most of the time..
anw.. on mon went back to ahs for edc camp.. haha.. fun sia.. help out for the nite game.. so many non edc members.. alex.. sheena.. rayner.. me.. tink four of us ah.. cant realli rmb.. lol.. anw after de nite game we went down to eat prata.... prata is nice.. n drink milo!! haha.. den went back to bathe.. ahhh.. so long nv camp le.. den cant realli slp well.. sian.. basically neck n back pain de next dae i woke up.. but nvm.. lol.. miss camp too much to tink dat its nt worth it.. haha.. (btw so glad da van find her camp fun!! cause camps are fun!!)ok.. lame.. -_-"" nvm..
todae.. went to jurong to swim.. actualli nt wanna go wan.. den read eve blog.. she went yest.. n den.. i tink dat i ll nt b able to take it if i miss all de fun of gg to jurong swim.. i decided to go! yay! haha.. ya.. den like wad her blog has said.. got waves.. got slides.. got slow river.. hahhaa.. actualli wad makes it so fun is we all la.. imagine u go der alone.. will it b fun? no rite? ya.. but i luv water too.. so .. it is fun just to b in de water :p who went? brynner zuhao alex yinghuan meihui n me.. n btw jurong is cheap! haha.. much cheaper dan wild wild wet.. n guess u ll b able to enjoy urself der.. since its so much cheaper.. =x
hai.. haf been tryin to get rid of him frm my brain.. but abit hard ah.. almost everytime went out.. he surely will haunt me wan.. just like todae.. i was in de mrt.. den i tot i saw him! but of coz its nt him la.. hai.. totally SIANded (esp to van.. :p)
haf been realli slackin for the whole wk.. stay at hm n play freecell.. till #125.. stuck at #126.. sumwan hu manage to solve.. tell me pls.. n den decided to write down ppl's bdae n fone numbers.. but nv gt to finish it.. havent touch ani hw.. gonna b dead.. hai..
time is 1203am now.. gg to slp le.. gd nite!

was hopin for it to fade away..

no mood

the week is coming to the end.

mood :shocked
woahhh! wad a night! powerful. real pwerful. nv see such a scene.. nv felt such atmosphere.. n dis is de first time i witness healing.. simply powerful.
twice.. i tot i felt sth.. nt too sure..
anw haf gone to sch in de morning wif mq. ask for testi. sumwan's new car. haha.
gg off to bed le.. tired.. havin slight dizziness..
thank You, God. to make me feel wad i feel todae. n for all those healings.. U r simply the best

mood :...

cant get u out of my mind
tinkin dat ur path n my path will cross once again
but dey nv
will it end just like dis?
i hope nt
but its not a choice i can haf

mood :sweetened
yay! its finally over!haha. finally over.. after two daes full of worries. finally. hmm.. no matter wads de outcome. its ok man. i know i dint back out. =p lol.. at least i went through all dat. though der were some incident happened la.. lol.. tell me how it feels.. when sumwan is talkin bad abt u? tinkin dat u dun understand deir language? (dey sincerely tink dat u dun understand dem) but de prob is i understand. haha.. though nt too sure whether it was talkin bad abt me or the other stuff.. but i know.. n quite confirm dat i m included in de conversation. hmm.. ya. i stared. n stared. but den. nth happen.. feel like replyin in deir language. but ya.. i nv did dat. let it be ba. i tink is just another lesson for me to b learnt. next time. dun ever tok bad abt ppl in frnt of de ppl. even though u r sure dat de person wont understand. realli. besides ppl can read ur bodi language. true? =D
nt bad a dae in sch todae. haha. cause short dae. nth realli happen in cls todae. besides mr ling showing us his weddin video. haha.. dat cameraman nid more training man! n during econs..haha.. it was like.. so tense la.. but xcitin ya?? eve.. haha.. next time dun forget to do plssssss..
hmmm.. tmr gonna haf PE.. dno wad r we gg to do. rawks! ok.. wadeva it is. i hope it rox! ok. crap man. =P
haha. so wad make me feel so sweetened todae? lol.. my second bro! haha. after tokin to my first bro for so long.(through msn) todae is de first time tokin to my second bro sia. n he cant stop calling me 'dd'. oh my.. dun noe whether he was just being cheeky.. as usual.. or wad.. ya.. but he bought the chocolate to give to my mom..yest was her bdae. guess she likes it alot.. haha.. whoever money he used to buy.. dun wish to know =p
I MISS U VAN! haha.. oh my.. dun b sad n unhappy le.. join my cls now! =D

that moment is still flashing in my mind.. times n times again..

mood :panicky
tell u wad! haha.. i woke up late again dis morning! by silas' fone call. yup.. it was 630 when he called. haha! luckily i asked him to wait for me.. if nt.. gonna pon another sch dae le.. lol.. n wad luck we got? haha.. soo yee was der too! when i reached to the mrt station.. thnx silas! for waitin.. n siyan! i m waiting to go sch together wif ya!! ya.. a few more daes.. hmm.. to the march hol!! haha..
so.. in sch.. we haf lessons as usual.. nth much.. gp watch pay it forward.. is a nice show.. alwaes tot dat is a nice n meaningful show.. until yuhan popped dat question. "wads de moral of de movie?" gd wan. cause at the end dat boy hu started de pay it forward, died. so it sets me tinkin.. y.. havent got the ans yet.. so for anione hu noes.. tell me pls..
we had PE todae.. haha.. n its a real work out man! but i tink last wk wan worse.. we were made to carry a 2kg ball.. n run 4 rounds.. since i partner wif eve. so 2 rounds wif de ball n another 2 rounds wo de ball.. den we do sit up.. push up.. squats.. n one more dunno-call-wad exercise.. wan dat will make u haf back pain de next dae.. =x ya.. but i haf alwaes like pe.. cause make me feel v healthy.. lol.. i m nt cheatin myself.. cause its true!
todae.. i start to feel dat i ll miss MJ.. is ironic rite!! but.. ya.. i realli do feel so.. especially my cls.. haha.. even my pe time.. my teachers.. all are nice ppl.. is funny to tink dat i started to get used to all the ppl arnd me.. but after all is alr 2mths.. ya.. gonna miss u all ppl!! haha.. cant change my JAE le.. ya.. so no pt regrettin rite.. i oso nv regret la. i believe dat it is planned dis wae.. so.. we just gonna haf fun for the rest of de remainin daes! yea?
i haf been worryin for the whole dae.. shud i back out or shudnt i? realli.. i m nt jk.. u all can easily tell me dat 'no harm tryin' but.. i realli must ask myself whether i m worthy enuff u c.. hai. i must haf more confidence! dats wad my frens told me.. so i guess i m gonna haf dat.. actualli i was still tinkin whether to back out.. den just now sth happened u c.. hmm.. btw.. thnx tho! for comin n teachin me.. n tellin me!! u c.. tho lost his ring.. den i went back to find.. haha.. so i waited der to wait for de person hu is sittin at our place just now to get awae so dat i can find de ring.. i waited n waited n waited.. i nearli walk awae le.. but den.. haha.. i set my mind to walk over n check dat place.. n i found de ring! i duno y oso i m so afraid of dat person. but ya.. i m afraid.. tink i just gt nt enuff confidence.. but.. it set me tinkin of whether to back out or nt.. =) gd wae of showing it to me, God!
i m gettin panic attacks more than usual.. give me confidence pls..

fear is having faith in the wrong thing.. (frm zl)

mood :emotionless
lol.. i m feelin guilty.. y? cause i pon sch again todae.. actualli not on purpose wan.. suppose to meet silas in de morning.. but den i woke up late.. so decided to ask him go sch first.. den nt long after i msg.. i received eve's msg tellin me dat she is nt gg sch.. sick.. so.. at dat exact same time.. half of mind alr determined of nt gg sch.. i went back to slp.. n de next time i woke up.. it was 8+.. lol.. i succeed in persuading myself dat i ll be late.. n after all i feel abit giddy n body is aching all over.. n again i told myself.. is no wonder for me to fall sick.. after all two of my housemates haf fallen sick.. haha.. wad a great excuse! so.. i went back to slp again..
i gradually woke up at 11+.. haha.. wanting to cont slpin wan.. but guilt overwhelm me.. so i decided to wash up n did my econs essay.. and oso read my storybks.. yup.. so by evening 630.. i finish two bks and an econ essay.. called qw to find out wd happened todae.. der is half dae for fri.. great! last dae of dis term!
rite now haf just finish my dinner.. n some of chem questions.. hai.. dere is still some guilt in me.. tink i ll just slp earli tonite.. ensure dat tmr i ll wake up earli.. i shall do so..

that moment is haunting me day and night..

mood :dead
dis morning mom called. found out dat 13 is nt enuff for her.
have asked for a laptop or at least a hp. haha. dunnoe whether dey will end up psychoing me dat i dun nid dose stuff.
dey r comin on de 25th. both mom n dad.. kinda miss dem.. havent seen dem for like.. more than one year? lol.. hmm.. actualli besides dem alot of my relatives from mom's side are coming over here too.. i guess is some sort of gathering for dem.. haha..
heard dat my aunt's granddaughter is comin frm germany.. she is nt even one yr's old!
lol.. gonna b happy occasion..
just saw my mom msg. my cousin gt 23. n his older bro got second for de A lvl. dats like wow.. so li hai.. i m dead. der will be just another expectation frm my mom for the coming 2 years..

i will nv forget the moment when i turn arnd n see u standin der lookin back. it seems so unreal. n i tot dat it is just a dream. let it be just a dream.

mood :...
i tot dat it ll be better after today.
but how come der's no magic workin like wad i m hopin for.
it is just as cold as last time.
it creates de longing in my heart.
longing for it to b better?
klo emank ini uda fated, g jg ngak bisa apa2.
tapi setidaknya show me my way.
so dat i wont be lost.
knp g mesti jatuh ke dalem trap ini.
n get trapped.
save me?
u ask me. whether i wan to b saved.
jawaban g. i tink so.
i still rmbed.
de first time i heard u askin wher am i, i was surprised.
nv know dat u know my name.
but datz ok. it dint bother me.
i tot so. i tink dis is de reason.
de reason for wads happening rite now.
its hard to get into ur world.
onli wif ur help den it will happen.
help me please.
two doors for me to choose.
i tot i haf chosen but i m hesitating now.
i tried one of de doors.
it wont budge.
dun dare to try another wan.
fearin dat it wont budge too.
save me?

mood :haPpi! :)
yay! haha.. another dae is over.. lol..
todae went out to celebrate zy n alex bdae..
haha.. in de morning..suppose to go n jog wif brynner.. but den.. slept u see.. n its overslept.. haha.. n forgot all abt the msg brynner sent remindin me abt the jog.. so at the end nv go la of coz.. haha.. but den met up wif him n zuhao at parkwae at 12.30.. see them eat lunch.. den went to buy rotiboy for my lunch.. nt bad la. but abit too sweet la. haha.. n dem tellin me dat if actualli we go n squeeze de bread der ll b oil.. so.. ya.. at the end nt realli gt appetite ah.. so at parkwae.. we went to shop for zy n alex pressie.. haha.. for zy we gt him two shirts! hah.. n alex we gt him shoebag n waterbottle.. (matchin color)! red! red rox!
ok.. lol.. anw.. den cause alot of time left.. so we went to de arcade.. last time dat place used to b my tuition centre.. hai.. goin der remind me of 6 yrs ago.. huai nian huai nian.. still rmb.. last time we went to de 'playgrnd' der n practise for our farewell perfomance.. n we won! second i tink.. but nt for dat item la.. but we had fun den! hai.. wondering how are dose of my clsmates doin now..
den we took 196 went to suntec.. den gt danceworks.. haha. once again make me recall of the past.. ya.. miss the time.. n de time.. lol.. anw.. den we took mrt to somerset.. our meetin place.. haha.. we r late.. but yet we r earli..
after everyone met le.. we went to eat marche.. $12 for me june n kristin.. nt bad huh? haha.. ya.. den we leavin dat time we saw our mount K guide! haha.. nt bad sia.. at dis kinda place saw him.. n he is buyin vegetable -_-'" haha.. n before dat we were sayin dat come marche dun eat veg.. cause de veg ex.. =p
so after dat we went to cineleisure.. planning to watch movie la.. end up no show.. all late shows.. nobodi can make it.. haha.. den zuhao n brynner were playin dis arcade dancin game.. suddenly cant rmb.. lol.. n zuhao is as lousy as wd he saes =x haha.. but nt bad la.. zy n krist help him.. so he didnt lose so badly la.
lol. den cause no show wanted to play bowling.. which is located at 9th floor..
haha.. den cause de lift keep on got ppl. den we take de emergency stairs.. haha. den trapped inside leh! walahhhh.. nth to sae le.. but luckily at the fifth floor de emergency door is open la. den we take de lift at the end.. wanted to go up to 9th floor.. but cant oso! haha.. end up found out dat de bowlin place has closed down! totally lame lehz.. pengz..
haha.. den we went to starbucks.. n sit down der n crap.. n drink coffee.. n joke arnd.. n tok n tok.. wif aj.. haha.. n den.. sit until 10+.. decided to go hm.. n.. once again being a nice guy.. sumwan drove me hm again.. thnx man! lol.. datz it..
ya.. a hapi dae.. cause of 2 reasons.. but datz for me to know n for u to find out =) if u r curious. datz it. ;)

mood :irritated.
"Strike while the iron is hot because there will be an opportunity today, to fulfil a longstanding dream or ambition. Embrace the changes that are happening now and accept the fact there's no fulfilment in standing still. You're being given the chance to strike out in new directions and to widen your horizons. Choices made today will shape your destiny, be sure to make the right ones. Think positively; expect changes for the better and they will come into your life."
the above paragraph is my horoscope readin for todae. hai.
i tink i know wad opportunity it is talkin abt. but i tink i m ruining it. i m nt wantin it. wad it means by embracing de changes? wad changes? isit 'new environment' it is referring to? hah. i am hoping so.. ya.. for those out der.. u nid to move to fulfill sth. ya. so lets move. wad does it tryin to sae abt the new directions and widen my horizons? isit wad it is referring to? is it? i have been tinkin positively.. besides dat whether i will start regrettin once i make de choice. so i dun believe in regretting.. but must as well i tink wadz best for me now. rite? dis sux.. totally.. i dun even noe wad i m being indecisive abt. arghhh..
i m worried over nth!
nth! totally nth!
hai.

mood :zonked
yay.. haha.. i m tired.. but ya.. come to blog before go to bed.
today is a v long dae.. n a dae where i haf been made to wait n wait.
i went to mj as usual.. out of 25 9 nv come sch.. pro hor.. datz for my cls. haha.. but after dat yinghui come la.. which is weird.. havent got to ask her yet.
however.. lol.. durin lunch.. 9 of us left.. leavin de rest behind for the rest of de 2 lectures n tutorials.. i was kinda guilty when i walked out of the sch.. but ya.. wad is done cant b undone.. =p
aniwae.. i went to meet mq.. she is supposed to pon sch in de morning.. but lame ger she is.. went back to vj to haf lunch n attend de chem lecture.. haha.. den sae wanna meet after her lecture.. at the end she made me wait for like.. 2 hours??!! cause she was hold up by sumwan else.. mq.. u gd la.. make me wait der.. n stone.. n look at the rain.. from big bcome small.. den bcome big again.. hai..
funnily. durin de waiting. haha.. i felt as if i haf gone back to the past den come back to the present again.. cause i saw my teacher!! my chinese teacher when i was still in the tuition centre.. i am so happy that she is still gd!! haha.. but too bad she cant recognise me.. n i cant rmb her name.. so at the end nv call out lor.. den after dat i saw my pri sch fren sis.. which is also my fren la.. haha.. cause i too stoned le.. so when see her oso nt much reaction.. feel bad now.. but i happi to see u la Hsiang Yin.. ya.. (i tink i dint spell wrongly ur name rite?)
so after dat me n mq went to macd. n tok n tok abt jae.. anw.. she got bluffed.. as in her money got bluffed.. haha.. where gt ice cream so ex wan lor..
so.. i came home at abt 730.. after bathin n dinner.. i decided to register my jae.. hai.. thats another thing todae dat make me wait.. i wait n wait n wait. for the server to b available.. so at arnd 10 it was.. but when i was reachin de last page.. it says invalid logon!! wah! i nearly pengz!
haha.. ya.. anw. tmr most prob gg to tj.. haha.. so tj ppl.. welc me! =)
ya.. now i wan to go slp le.. tiring dae.. gd nite everyone..

mood :silent
i m confused.
confused.
confused.
confused.
confused.
i m supposed to be silent.
n i m silent.
i have to sort out myself.
rite now i m all tangled up.
datz y i m confused.

its supposed to b easy.
lets hope it is easy.
run? or still?
hide? or seek?
ya?
i m not too sure anymore.
tangled.

mood :stoned
so.. dis is gonna be my second entry..
i woke up dis morning.. realising dat it was raining.. datz gd.. because it makes me go back to slp.. haha.. it was 9.30 aniwae.. still earli..
after a few more minutes of slackin i decided to come online.. since i had been angry wif somewan yest nite.. but at the end i was guilty cause dat sumwan seems to b angry too.. i decided to see whether dat sumwan still angry anot.. ya.. lame.. but luckily dat sumwan wasnt la.. which is gd.. aniwae.. haha.. for dat sumwan if u know who u are.. thnx for the help la.. not dat i dun appreciate.. but ya.. thanx aniwae.. =)
haiii.. tmr must go back to mj le.. n i still left with two econs essays and one chns compo.. sian.. just dun haf de motivation to do la..i just finish readin de first bk of de St Claire's by Enid Blyton.. dun luff at me kz.. haha. my fav bks when i was younger.. still is now.. :p
wanted to go east coast park to cui cui feng.. but ya.. lazy ah.. raining somemore.. lol.. den when i decided to go.. mq decided to go tp.. haiii.. but its ok =) haha.. fated..
mayb when i feel happy i will blog again tonite.. c u.

yaay! haha.. at last i m startin a blog.. firstly.. wanna give de credit to CheNg Pei!! haha.. she is the one hu help me wif the template.. haha.. so gt ani comment give to her ya.. (cp dun forget to visit my blog to look at the comment =p) secondly.. ahha.. de credit go to Tho..for the spider web.. though me n cp think dat its nt relevant -_-"" . ya..
soo.. haha.. i come out wif de word 'zonked' coz it sounds nice.. dont u tink so too?? =)
ok.. anyway.. ya. yest we just got back our 'o' lvl results.. de long anticipated results.. i got 13.. hmm.. honestly nt v happy wif it.. but at least its an improvement frm my prelim,17. ya.. so after de results.. wads next? haha.. now headache.. duno which path to choose.. anibodi.. wanna give suggestion?
tts all for now.. time to go.. <--- by loo!! :x

-neL-